One One Zero Four One Four
by X the Ninja
Summary: To-chi is a new vocaloid who wants to become a successful virtual idol. Upon her entrance in The House of Vocaloid, her favourite stars are not all they appeared to be... Life in The House, the trials of being an idol, and Gakupo, are getting to her. Miku says she has potential, but will this fan-made vocaloid survive in the world of virtual celebrities? Very OOC moments and fluff
1. Ievan Polkka

**Hi People. I know I promised that I wouldn't start another story until my current ones are finished. I LIED. -blunt-**

**Disclaimer: I only own To-chi, my OC. I do not own Vocaloid. If I did, I wouldn't be an obsessive 12-year-old otaku, slaving away at my computer.**

**May contain pairings, perhaps some yuri/yaoi if people want but mostly fluff. I ship Leniver (LenxOliver) If you don't like it, you don't have to read. Some language... Yeah... could get a bit crackish in places. xDDDD**

**I won't be able to include all characters, as I don't know them all! /**

**Also, I may epically suck at translation and writing songs. Please look past that.**

* * *

''AAAAAAAGH!''  
To-chi had been staring at the 'map' for ages. It appeared to be, on closer inspection, not a map, but a scribbly drawing of a leek.  
''I can't believe this...'' the new vocaloid groaned, collapsing with despair.

''Did someone call me?'' A voice suddenly came towards her. It was a vocaloid with teal twin-tails and the number '01' imprinted on her arm.

''Miku-senpai!'' To-chi cried. ''I thought I'd be lost out here forever!''

''The new girl! Have you been out here a long time... what was it... ah! To-chi?'' Miku said sympathetically, helping the brunette up.

''ALL NIGHT!'' she wailed. ''I HAD TO SLEEP ON THE GROUND! MY SPECIAL HAIR CURL IS ALL GONE! SEE, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE,'' she added, pointing just above her right shoulder, ''BUT NOW _ALL _OF MY HAIR IS CURLY! BECAUSE I HAD TO SLEEP _ON THE GROUND! ALL NIGHT!_''

''Calm down! We will fix your hair inside. The Vocaloid House is this way!'' Miku lead the way until they had arrived.

''Senpai... CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?'' To-chi asked, producing a ginormous autograph book out of nowhere.

''Sure!'' Miku smiled, not finding it weird in the slightest that the new girl had managed to produce a huge autograph book out of thin air. She signed it _Miku Hatsune._

_Hmmm, looks a bit plain, _she thought, and drew a mini Miku cuddling a leek.

_Still looks plain. _(This time she drew mini Miku eating a leek.)

* * *

**5 minutes later...**

''Miku-senpai, I really do appreciate this, but...'' To-chi stared at the autograph in awe, ''Do I really need a picture of you kissing a leek, bathing with a leek, drinking with a leek, building a snow-leek, building a sand-leek, drawing a manga about leeks, making a friendship bracelet for a leek, flirting with a leek, being consoled by a leek, sleeping with a leek (O_o how is that even possible?) and, finally, HAVING A HALF LEEK HALF VOCALOID BABY?!''

''Did I go too far?'' Miku winced.

''Yes, you did!'' To-chi sulked. ''You even drew on the cover... now everyone's gonna think I'm a total leek geek!'' She hid her face in shame, and when she looked up, Miku was holding a banner reading _The Leek Geeks Club._

''I liked the name.'' Miku said. ''What? We already have two members!''

''I'm not joining.''

''Fine. We have one.'' Miku scratched To-chi's name off the 'Members' section of the banner.

* * *

''Since you're going to be a Vocaloid now, you must like singing, right?'' Miku asked.  
''Oh yeah, I love singing!'' To-chi said earnestly, her amber eyes lighting up.

Miku fiddled in her bag for a second, before producing a microphone. ''Why don't you try singing Ievan Polkka? You know the lyrics. It's like a rite of passage for us vocaloids!'' (She mentally added a love heart to the end of that sentence.) The intro randomly started playing.

To-chi gingerly took the microphone and told herself not to be shy. All the others had to do this. Singing was her career now.

_Hra-tsa-tsa, ia ripi-dapi dilla barits tad dillan deh lando_

_Aba rippadta parip parii ba ribi, ribi, ribiriz den teahlando_

_Barillaz dillan deiallou ara va reve reve revydyv dyvjavuo_

_Bariz dah l'llavz dei lando dabaoke dagae gadae due due dei ia do_

The music malfunctioned and stopped To-chi in her tracks. She was the type who'd instantly become embarrassed if she was singing when there was no music.

''That was pretty good! Your voice is really cheerful and heartwarming,'' Miku gave her the thumbs up. ''However... YOU WERE TOO QUIET! GROW SOME BALLS WOMAN AND GET YOUR VOICE OUT THERE! YOU WERE ALSO SINGING TOO FAST! CHILL OUT! BAKA, BAKA, BAKA!'' She karate chopped To-chi.

''Miku-senpai, you're really harsh!'' To-chi sniffled, nursing the lump on her head.

''Anyway... to The House we go!'' Miku said, back to normal after her awful outburst.

''Hooray...'' To-chi murmured quietly.

* * *

**I think I'm gonna update this again today! I've always wanted to do this... I'm so funny. -avoids shoe you threw at me- I kid, I kid.**


	2. Nyan Cat

**Hi people. I don't own vocaloid and all that. I just couldn't help myself from updating REALLY SOON. xD**

* * *

''Time for one-on-one lessons!'' Miku cried. For some reason, To-chi was sitting at a random desk in schoolgirl cosplay, getting a singing lesson from Miku at midnight. Just because Miku rolls like that.  
''What's up with this outfit..?'' To-chi asked, having found something else to complain about now that her special hair curl was back.  
''Be quiet while Hatsune-sensei explains or you'll get the belt!'' Miku bellowed, wielding a belt that she had stolen from Kaito earlier.  
''But that's illegal!'' To-chi burst out.  
''Tell that to the belt!'' her senpai cried, cracking it like a whip.

''So! Moving on!'' Miku gestured to the whiteboard with a leek. ''Lesson One! You have to know when to breathe and when not to breathe! To demonstrate, I'll have Gumi sing Nyan Cat!''

''Why me?'' Gumi asked, popping her head around the door.

''For eavesdropping! You're lucky Hatsune-sensei isn't using the belt on you!'' Miku shouted. ''Now, SING IT! AND IT HAD BETTER BE FLAWLESS, YOU HEAR?!''

Gumi did so, too terrified to make a mistake.

''Now you try!'' Miku pointed the leek at To-chi, who gulped.

_Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya_

_Nyayanyanyanya-_

To-chi had to stop to breathe.

''Try again!''

_Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya_

_Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya-_

Once again she had to stop.

''I can't do it!'' she cried. ''Miku-senpa- SENSEI, when do I breathe?''

''NEVER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'' Miku brandished the leek whilst laughing in an extremely evil fashion.

To-chi looked at her in horror.

''BAKA, BAKA, BAKA! YOU'RE A VOCALOID; A ROBOT! YOU DON'T _NEED _TO BREATHE!'' Miku attacked the poor girl with the leek.

''Oww... Oh wait, I DON'T need to breathe! I had forgotten!''

With that, To-chi learned how to recite the Nyan Cat song flawlessly. Like that'll be a big fat help on the road to stardom.

* * *

**Maybe more if I feel like it. Ahh, I love Psycho!Miku so much... :D**


	3. Side Story: To-chi's name

**Here's a little Side Story for y'all, if you're wondering about the origins of ''To-chi''.**

* * *

''To-chi, right?'' asked Gumi.  
''Hai!'' To-chi nodded, doing a random salute.  
''I was wondering about your name. It's To-chi, but-''

''But is it Tochi?'' Len popped up.

''Or is it T-ochi?'' Rin added.

''Maybe it's To Chi,'' Kaito compromised.

''Or perhaps Touchy?'' Oliver pondered.

''Tacky?'' asked Teto.

''Tardy?'' IA said hopefully.

''What do you think Luka-chan?'' asked Gakupo.

''Go Google it,'' Luka walked away.

''EVERYONE SHUT UP! MY NAME IS TO-CHI! WELL, YES LEN, MY FULL NAME IS TOCHI, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT IS A TYPE OF FERMENTED SOYBEAN, BUT THAT WAS EMBARRASSING SO I SHORTENED IT TO 'TO' AND THE '-CHI' BIT IS THE HONORIFIC! AND I AM NOT TACKY OR TARDY!'' To-chi ranted, and stormed out of the room.


	4. Matryoshka

**Yo. Hi. xD**

* * *

''It's getting late, so we'd better sort out where you're going to sleep. Three to a room is the rule,'' Miku explained. To-chi nodded.  
''We have some extra space in our dorm, right Rin?'' Gumi said quickly.  
''Yeah, ever since SeeU decided she preferred to sleep in the suit of armor in the lobby,'' Rin giggled.  
''How long has she been there for?'' asked Gumi.  
''Dunno, about a week now?'' Rin shrugged.  
Miku took a large gulp of wine.

''BITCHES GET YO' ASSES IN YO' ROOM! NOW!'' Miku shrieked, kicking all three of them into the room

''Miku is like that when you give her alcohol,'' Rin told To-chi. ''I spiked her hot chocolate with it once. It wasn't pretty.''  
''We should probably get ready for bed.'' Gumi said, hearing a thundering cry of ''GET DRESSED YOU BAKA, BAKA, BAKAS!'' from outside their room.

Pulling her onesie on, To-chi started humming a tune.  
''Is that Matryoshka you're singing?'' Rin asked.  
''Yup,'' To-chi grinned.

''Let's sing it together! One, two, three!'' Gumi declared.

_I __don't even even know if this message _  
_that I'm overly concerned with will reach anyone. _  
_Surely, forever and ever, I will be _  
_a mad Matryoshka covered in patches._

_My headache is singing about a package.  
The clock's hand is stuck at 4 o'clock.  
No one would tell me why,  
but the world has begun to rotate in reverse._

Miku burst in. ''AHHHHH IMMMM ABOUT TO CRACK AND BUUUUUUURST! SO I THROOOOOW AWAAAAAY ALLLLLL OF MY MEEEEMMMMOOORRRIIIEEESSS!''

''Miku, you're drunk,'' observed To-chi.  
''That's not even the tune,'' Rin criticised.  
''Please, only sing when you're sober,'' Gumi begged.

Miku chased them into bed with her beloved leek.

''Good night, kids. And one last thing.''

''Yes...?''

''Would you like to join my Leek Geeks Club?''

* * *

**Please review, folks. I beg of you. ^.^**


	5. Rolling Girl

**Hi. Just a little note, the time in the story will sometimes wildly differ from the time in real life :3**

* * *

BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ. BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ. BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ-

''Ugh...'' To-chi groaned, fumbling about for the alarm clock. She looked around the room.  
''MIKU-SENPAI THIS IS MY BED!'' she shouted, rolling the half-asleep Miku onto the floor.

_Miku_

_The lonely... girl is forever drea... ming... of something... she can't reach... and _  
_Churning... churning the insides of her flustered... mind._

''Miku, you sound dreadful. Go back to bed and deal with your hangover somewhere else,'' Rin complained, burying her head in her pillow, which looked, felt and even smelled like an orange. Oddly.

Gumi entered the room. ''Hey guys, Gakupo is here to take your order for breakfast.'' Gakupo walked in in a maid outfit.  
''I bet I look sooooo manly,'' he said, striking a pose.

''What is there to eat?'' To-chi asked politely.  
''Cereal.''  
''Or?''  
''Cereal.''  
''Um, I'll have cereal?'' To-chi asked.  
''Sure. And Rin?''  
''Cereal, dumbass.''

Gakupo flounced away in his maid costume.

Minutes later, he returned with an artichoke for To-chi and an orange for Rin.

''I thought you said you only had cereal?'' To-chi was very confused.  
''Yeah, and I gave you cereal,'' Gakupo looked equally confused.  
''No, you gave me an artichoke,'' To-chi insisted.  
''Yeah. You asked for it.''  
''No I didn't.''

''Sorry guys, I should have mentioned,'' Gumi coughed. ''Gakupo has a very serious condition where he refers to people's favourite foods as cereal.''

''YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.''

* * *

**I know I said this before, but please review! It'd make my day!**


	6. SideStory: The Lovely Miss Luka Megurine

**In this chapter the Vocaloids interact with the Outside, as they call it. xD**

* * *

''Hello everyone and we Vocaloids are bringing you an E-X-C-L-U-S-I-V-E lovely interview with Lovely Miss Luka Megu-chan!'' Miku blew a kiss at the camera. ''DAMMIT TO-CHI HOLD THE CAMERA STRAIGHT SO I CAN IMPRESS MY FANS!''

''Oh yes and we have a lovely new Vocaloid friend here with us today! This is the lovely To-chi shooting this lovely video for us! Teto my lovely dear will you take over so we can introduce To-chi?''

''Stop calling everything lovely!'' Teto cried, her hair bouncing in annoyance. She swiped the camera with such force both herself and To-chi fell over in a heap.

''IDIOTS! STOP DISGRACING THE VOCALOID NAME!'' Miku slapped them both.  
''But I might be a UTAUloid!'' Teto pointed out.  
''YOU'RE STILL DISGRACING US!'' Miku slapped her again for her insolence.

To-chi picked up the camera. ''You're being filmed again.''

''ANYWAY!'' Miku said, with a huge fake smile. ''Whatever that was didn't happen, and it's time to interview Megu-chan!''

''Stop calling me Megu-chan!'' Luka scowled at them all.

''Okay, first question! What's your email address?''  
''Go google it.''  
''Where do you live?''  
''Go google it.''  
''What kind of person interests you?''  
''Go google it. At Yahoo!''  
''When can we meet again?''  
''Go google it.''  
''Do you like eggplant?''  
''Go google it.''  
''Are you in a relationship?''  
''I kind of do want to tell you that...''

''WELL?'' Miku and Teto said in unison. ''TELL US.''  
''I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...!''

''I DON'T KNOWWWWW! GO GOOGLE IT ALREADY!''

''Luka... nobody knows the answers to these questions,'' Neru said flatly, having typed them all in to Google.

''GO TO HELL, ALL OF YOU!'' Luka stormed out of the room.

''And that was our interview with the ...lovely Miss Luka Megurine...?''


	7. SideStory: ArtichokeHeartBombardmentFury

**Hi peoplez. Slight crossover with Full Moon Wo Sagashite this episode... I don't own that either.**

* * *

''Megu-chan! To-chi! Mitsuki!'' Miku yelled. ''I uploaded that video to YouTube!''  
''Who the hell is Mitsuki?'' Teto demanded.  
''You,'' Miku said.  
''My name is Teto Kasane!'' Teto shouted at her.  
''Oh, yeah. I've been hooked on Full Moon wo Sagashite recently...'' Miku sighed dreamily. ''MitsukixEichi all the way!''  
''No. It has to be MitsukixTakuto,'' Neru murmured.  
''You're in on this too, Neru-nee?!'' To-chi demanded.  
''Who the hell are Eichi and Takuto?'' Teto shouted at them both.

''ANYWAY!'' Miku said swiftly. ''Let's check out the comments!''

She clicked on the video she had posted a couple of hours before. It was called:

Love Love Fusion ~ Miku's Magical Interview with Megu-chan ~ Feat. Mitsuki, Neru and To-chi

''WHY DID YOU CALL IT THAT?!'' screeched just about everyone.

''It was cute!'' Miku said, offended.

They scrolled down to the comments section. (Each line is a separate comment.)

_Ahaha love you ''Megu-chan''  
So Kawaii...  
Did Miku just slap them?  
__Luka you didn't answer their questions! T-T__I can't believe Neru actually looked them up xD  
Who's To-chi?  
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing!  
We didn't actually get to see her though...  
Is Hatsune usually like this? :D  
Are they voiced by real people?_

''WHAT THE HELL DO THEY MEAN 'ARE THEY VOICED BY REAL PEOPLE'? WE ARE VOICED BY OURSELVES!'' screamed a random voice from outside. Luka opened the curtains to see a figure dressed in black wearing a balaclava.

''BURGLAR!'' yelled Teto. ''EVERYONE ATTACK!''  
Teto threw a baguette at the mystery figure, Miku threw bottles of alcohol at them, Neru shouted something along the lines of ''I WILL SPAM YOU AND HATE MAIL YOU'', and Luka pointed a random katana at the intruder.

To-chi grabbed another katana from Luka and cut into an artichoke with it. She found the hearts.

**''TO-CHI ARTICHOKE HEART BOMBARDMENT BURNING FURYYYYYYY!''**

The mysterious figure fainted clean away.

* * *

**Please review. Ya know the drill. xD**


	8. Triple Baka

**To-chi makes her true debut... xD**

* * *

''Huh? A cover of Triple Baka?''  
Miku nodded. ''You'll get to do your own songs later, but for now, why don't you do some covers? You've got Gumi and Rin to do the other parts, right? Once you're finished, let me record it. I'll upload it to YouTube!''

''T-t-t-t-to Y-y-y-youTube?! Already?!'' To-chi gasped.  
''That's fame, my little kohai.'' Miku smiled.

* * *

''Us? A cover of Triple Baka?'' Gumi and Rin chorused.  
''That's what Miku-senpai said,'' said To-chi.  
''Okay... Let's divide the parts, then,'' Gumi suggested.  
''I wanna do the texting bit. That's the most challenging bit!'' Rin volunteered.  
''Why don't you do the main bit, To-chi?'' Gumi smiled.  
''Me?!''  
''Yes! You're the newest vocaloid. Everyone wants to see you and hear your voice.''  
''...I guess...''

LATER

''Kay, Miku. We're ready,'' Rin said.

_Rin_

_Doopdoopdoopdoopdoopdoopdoopdoop (REPEAT)_

_Gumi_

_Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada (REPEAT)_

_To-chi_

_I will seize your heart!_

_Before I knew it, I was saying "G'morning!" in front of my monitor.  
After some time, I began to feel sleepy._

_Despite being busy, I, like a spoiled child,  
am being drawn in by your tempting words:  
"You are really stupid."  
"I was seriously trolled!"_

_When I couldn't make it on time, and didn't know what to do,  
rather than coming up with a good solution, I immediately gave up._

_Stupid stupid stupid!  
What is it that has been motivating you so much?  
I start flying towards an unknown world, with my hope.  
Stupid stupid stupid!  
Don't you still have a lot of things to take care of?  
Crying, laughing, getting angry, let me handle all of them!  
I'll dye them with my colors._

They continued until they had finished.

''Pretty good. I'll upload it now. Time to see if you three are going to get some magical blessings known as 'likes'!''' Miku finished recording.


	9. Triple Baka (Part II)

**Hi, people. ^-^ Love you guys ~**

''To-chi-neechan!'' Oliver cried. ''I managed to tie up the intruder and I thought you all would want to deal with her...'' He dragged the chair along. Tied to it was... Meiko?!

''MEIKO-SENPAI?!'' To-chi gasped.  
''You traitor!'' yelled Miku.

''I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!'' Meiko shouted.

''She's right, you know,'' Gumi shrugged.  
''This is MY household and I don't give a DAMN about what's right!'' Miku snapped, brandishing a leek once again.  
''I-I can explain!'' Meiko said hastily. ''I was doing the PV for my new song, my ROLE is a burglar! I got carried away when I saw you lot watching your videos! Sake!'' Oliver handed her sake whilst releasing her from her bonds.

''Who are you, honey-bean?'' Meiko demanded, squeezing To-chi's face.  
''...Honey-bean?'' To-chi frowned.  
''Oh, don't be like that, tell me your name!'' Meiko squeezed until To-chi was sure her face would fall off.  
''To-chi.''  
''That's a cute name. Oliver, baby-blush, get me more sake.''  
''And you thought I was an alcoholic?'' Miku raised an eyebrow.  
''Miku my little shell-kiss, no need to be snarky. And honey-bean, you should lighten up. Drink some sake.'' Meiko grinned.  
''No thank you...'' To-chi shook her head.  
''DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.'' Meiko waved the sake in To-chi's face.  
''Leave the kid alone Meiko,'' Miku said.  
''You lot are no fun.'' Meiko mooched away.

* * *

_Later that day..._

* * *

''Psst. To-chi,'' Rin hissed.  
''Rin-chan?''  
''Wanna check out the _Triple Baka _video?''  
''Me too!'' Gumi squealed.  
''But Neru-nee stole the computer,'' To-chi said, looking wistfully at Neru typing away in the garden outside.  
''Ipad,'' Rin smirked.

Triple Baka [Kagamine Rin, Megpoid Gumi and Nishino Tochi]

(Miku had originally called the video Triple Baka! Rin-ko, Gum-Gum-chan and Totototochi's Love Love Music but just about everyone begged her to change the name.)

''How does Miku-senpai know my family name...?'' To-chi shuddered.  
''I dread to think,'' Gumi and Rin exchanged concerned glances.  
They scrolled down to the comments section.

_Aww, so cute!  
Who's Tochi?  
Rin looks like Neru xD  
I think Tochi is that girl with the brown hair and amber eyes.  
__Gumi looks derpy...  
They look like they're having so much fun. ^.^  
To-chi is so cute! I think I'm a fan!  
I agree. Whenever I've had a bad time, I just listen to To-chi. It's like she's saying, ''C'mon, baka! Just enjoy life!''  
I bet Rin's texting Kaito. We all know she's got a crush on him.  
_

''I DO NOT!'' roared Rin.  
Gumi and To-chi gave her a look which said plainly 'who do you think you're kidding?'  
''Stupid YouTubers! I'm the one who guys should be crushing on!'' she sulked. She turned away from them both.  
''Rin-chan, it's-'' To-chi began.  
''What do you know?! You've just started out! You've yet to experience it all! The fanservice, all the work, the fanfictions (oops there goes the fourth wall) ... THE SHIPPINGS!'' Rin yelled.  
To-chi stepped back, startled.

''I-I'm sorry,'' said Rin. ''I was jealous because you were getting all the attention. I'm sorry. I'm such an immature brat.'' She started tearing up.  
To-chi hugged Rin. ''It's okay Rin-chan. I forgive you.''

Gumi wailed loudly.

''G-Gumi-chan?! Why are you crying, too?!''  
''It was... just so... m-m-moving... I-I want a h-h-hug too!''  
To-chi smiled. ''Group hug!''  
''Sorry to interrupt your touching moment girls, but Miku wants you,'' Gakupo burst through the door in a cat outfit.  
None of them moved an inch.  
''Miku wants you,'' he repeated.  
They started shuffling away from him.  
''DON'T WALK AWAY DAMMIT!'' Gakupo cried, frustrated, grabbing them all and carrying them into the lobby.

* * *

**Yeah... review. Please. Again. It's nice you took the time to read this. Could you take the 15 seconds needed to review as well?**


	10. World is Mine

**Thanks to lollixlolli for the inspiration for this chapter. ^.^ ~  
(By the way, the lyrics Miku sings in this chapter are a parody of the actual lyrics to _World is Mine_.)  
**

* * *

''M-Miku-senpai?! What happened? You're... tiny!'' To-chi gasped. Gumi was speechless and Rin had a suspicious look on her face. ''Heh heh heh...''  
Miku had shrunken to about two inches tall.  
''And that's not all!'' she said, in a very high-pitched voice. ''Look what happened to Megu-chan!'' Luka waddled out of the shadow of a large table.  
''I don't know who did this to us, but whoever it was had better own up!'' Luka squealed.  
Rin sweatdropped. Luckily, nobody noticed.  
''I am sick of the way rookies just waltz in thinking they can do whatever they like because they're a vocaloid! You have to respect your elders and betters, To-chi!'' Miku yelled.  
''It wasn't me!'' cried To-chi indignantly.  
''I don't care who it was! You all had better treat me right from now on, you got that?! Time for Miku's Crash Course in How to Treat Princesses!''  
''Oh, brother.'' Gumi facepalmed.  
''Sounds fun!'' Len whispered. Rin slapped him.

_Miku_

_I'm the number one princess in the world  
So make sure you know how to treat me by heart, got it?!_

_First thing: Notice when I'm shorter than usual.  
Second thing: I don't think my shoes fit anymore. You should have noticed.  
Third thing: when I ask who did it, give me a 10-page-long essay explaining why you did it.  
If there are no leeks in the fridge, run out and get me some more!_

_Is this too much to ask?  
I'm cute so you better obey me  
_

_I am the number one princess in the world  
Why can't you fools see that, hey, hey  
Gawking at me is out of the question.  
Who do you think I am?  
I would like some one to fess up, please.  
Gakupo, make them fess up._

Gakupo approached with a creepy look in his eyes.  
''So, little girls, tell me who did it.'' He blew each of them a kiss.  
''IT WAS ME! IT WAS ME! HA HA HA!'' Rin cried inbetween fits of hysterical laughter.

_Miku  
_

_Your fault, Rin? NOT a cute mistake..._

Everyone leapt on Rin, wailing at this monstrous deed.

''MONSTER! MONSTER!''  
''How could you?!''  
''Let me teach you a lesson!''  
''Forgive me, Rin-chan!''

''I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I'M SORRY!'' Rin sobbed. ''PLEASE DON'T HURT ME GAKUPO!''  
''But how did you do it?'' asked Mini-Luka.  
''Well... I kind of... made them peanut brittle!'' Rin cried.  
To-chi looked baffled.  
''IDIOT SIS! YOU KNOW THAT WEIRD STUFF HAPPENS WHEN YOU GIVE VOCALOIDS PEANUT BRITTLE!'' Len shouted.  
''Is that so...'' To-chi murmured, eating a bit of peanut brittle that was left over.

''AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! TOCHI-NYA GREW CAT EARS!''

* * *

**Just FYI, I'm going to a relative's so I won't be able to update 'til Saturday. Sorry. :(**


	11. Senbonzakura

**First off, I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated for like ageeeees... because my computer was being fixed! Not my fault this time! xD**

**Btw, I wrote before that To-chi was a brunette, but I was drawing some sketches of her, and the reddy-brown pencil looked brown, so she ended up a redhead. Oops! xD**

* * *

''Yaaaaay! It's spring! We should go flower viewing!'' Miku yelled.  
''Don't we have work to do?'' enquired To-chi.  
''SCREW WORK! I HAVE POPULARITY!'' Miku totally blew her top and started running around the room.  
''If Miku is going, I'm going too!'' Kaito declared through a mouthful of ice-cream.  
''I guess I should go too,'' To-chi sighed. ''Don't wanna be left behind.''  
''In that case, I shall accompany you, Tochi-neechan!'' Oliver said in what he hoped was a gallant way.  
''AND ME!'' said Rin and Gumi.  
''LET'S GET ON THE [VERY BAD SWEAR WORD] BUS THEN!'' Miku screamed, arms full of sake. Everyone gasped.  
''Sake... me too...'' Meiko giggled, still in her burglar attire.

''Neru? You wanna come too?''  
''Stop nagging me!''

FIVE MINUTES LATER

_Miku_

_The wheels on the bus go round and round..._

_Kaito_

_Round and round..._

_Oliver_

_Round and round..._

_Meiko_

_Da wheelz on dat bus go round and roooouuuunddddd..._

''Oh... my... god.'' To-chi facepalmed.

* * *

''We're here!'' Kaito announced. They were at a random hill with tons of cherry trees scattered about.  
''Does this remind you of anything?'' Miku hinted.  
''SENBONZAKURA!'' yelled almost everyone.  
''Sake...?'' said Meiko.  
''MEIKO YOU LITTLE BEATCH STOP DRINKING SO WE CAN SING!'' Miku slapped Meiko.

_Miku_

_After a bold and audacious Westernization revolution,  
this is now an open and upright anti-war nation. _

She beckoned the others to join in.

_Rin_

_As I pedal forward my bicycle marked with the Japanese flag,  
evil spirits will disperse from my intercontinental ballistic missiles._

_Gumi_

_Looping the belt line, I don't care if I'm constantly on the move. _  
_Boys and girls must be unrivalled during the warring era, in the floating world._

_To-chi_

_Thousands of cherry trees dissolve into the night. Not even your voice will reach.  
This is a banquet inside a steel jail cell. Look down on us from your guillotine._

Was it just the great music, or was it that she was singing with pros, that made To-chi feel so happy? She let the music wash over her and smiled.

_Oliver_

_The whole world is shrouded in hellish darkness. Not even a lamenting song is audible.  
With your raygun, shoot out the azure sky and the far distance._

_Meiko_

_Hundreds of fights will give one the apperance of an officer.  
The courtesans are going here and there on a parade for their regular guests.  
Everyone, assemble here now.  
It's a march of the saints. One! Two! Three! Four!_

''We ran out of people! I KNEW I shoulda forced Neru to come!'' Rin mumbled.

_Teto_

_To pass through the gate to dhyāna and achieve nirvana with cleansing, _  
_the closing act must be a happy finale, accompanied by applause from the audience._

''Since when were you here?!'' Miku demanded.  
''I stowed away on the bus. And here comes the next bit!'' Teto said hastily.

_Everyone_

_Thousands of cherry trees dissolve into the night. Not even your voice will reach.  
This is a banquet inside a steel jail cell. Look down on us from your guillotine._

''...T-That was awesome!'' To-chi gasped. Everyone was totally puffed out.

''Let's sing it again! Let us resonate around the hills, so everyone will hear us! I want to feel alive!'' Miku yelled once more, whilst dying her hair the same colour it was in the PV.  
''Okay Miku-senpai, but I have one request,'' To-chi said.  
''Yes kohai?''  
''This has been bothering me for a while, but since this story is set in Japan, why don't we sing in Japanese? Plus it sounds cooler in Japanese.''  
''OOPS! I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT! SILLY ME!'' Miku laughed.

_SENBONZAKURA yoru ni magire kimi no koe mo todokanai yo  
KOKO WA UTAGE hagane no ori sono dantoudai tobiorite..._


	12. Matryoshka (Part II)

**Sorry I haven't been on lately. I had a lot to do.  
Also, I know the lyrics will almost definitely be WRONG. It's because I used Google Translate. It's all I have.  
**

* * *

''Hey To-chi! You have an assignment from Master!'' Miku yelled, throwing the piece of paper at To-chi's face.  
To-chi sighed and read the paper.

_Sing Matryoshka with Neru_

''Wha...? That's pretty vague.'' she murmured.  
''Master always tests the newbies with weird, vague requests,'' Miku said submissively. ''Neru, get over here.''  
Neru teleported to the spot.  
''WHAT THE HELL?'' To-chi cried.  
''Master said that you two have to come up with your own take on it without essentially changing the meaning of the lyrics,'' her senpai added. ''So get going! Oh, and he said that he's expecting you to come and perform it for him at five.''  
Neru texted Luka. [Hatsune is such a dork always getting drunk not as much as meiko is :P]  
She then typed 'lol' with a completely straight face.

After practicing in the garden for a while, neither of them could think of anything.  
''How are we supposed to put our own take on it...'' To-chi complained. ''...without changing the lyrics...?''  
There was a rustle in the bushes behind them. Oliver emerged.  
''I'm sorry, I was just planting flowers when I heard you two talking. I'm sorry for eavesdropping. I'll go now,'' he bowed and began on his way. He whispered to To-chi. ''Sometimes you have to get into character.'' And then he left.

''What did he mean, get into character?'' she wondered aloud. She slapped her hands together. ''Neru, come here, I've got an idea...''

_A few hours later_

The Master was obscured behind a screen.  
''I've been waiting for you. Please, begin,'' he said, pressing a button and then Matryoshka started up.  
To-chi and Neru glanced at each other and nodded. _Here goes nothing,_ she thought.

_1, 2, 3, 4!_

_To-chi:_

_YA dazhe ne znayu dazhe , yesli eto soobshcheniye  
chto ya slishkom ozabochena dostignet nikogo .  
Konechno, vo veki vekov , ya budu  
s uma Matreshka pokryta pyatnami._

The Master was intrigued. He didn't recognise these lyrics. It was definitely the same song, but... it wasn't English or Japanese.

_Neru:_  
_ Moya golovnaya bol' poyet o pakete ._  
_ Ruka Chasy razrabotany zastryal v chetyre chasa ._  
_ Nikto ne skazhet mne, pochemu,_  
_ no mir nachal vrashchat'sya v obratnom napravlenii._

_ Both:_

_Akh, ya sobirayus' vzlomat' i vzryv, tak chto ya vybrosit' vse moi vospominaniya. Akh, ya khochu znat' , ves' put' do dna._

_ E-e, ne mogli by vy tantsevat' yeshche bol'she? Kalinka ? Malinka ? Prosto perebirayet struny . Chto delat' s takogo roda emotsiy ? Ne budet li vy skazat' mne ?_

Everything seemed to be going well so far. To-chi crossed her fingers behind her back.

_Neru: _

_Priyem signala khorosho, 5-2-4 !_  
_ Freyd ? Keloidnyy ? Prosto nazhmite na klavishi._  
_ Davayte prosto smeyat'sya vse proch' ._  
_ Speshite i tanets, gruppirovat' durakov !_

_To-chi:_  
_ Vmeste davayte khlopayem v detskiye ruki_  
_ k etomu namerenno nenormal'nyy ritm ,_  
_ Konechno, ya ne mog zabotit'sya men'she obo vsem._  
_ Temperatura v mire nachinayet tayat'._

They had to stop because they had run out of time.

The Master leaned forwards. ''Well, that was interesting. Was that Russian? Why?''

''Well...'' To-chi said shyly. ''It was Oliver-kun who gave me the hint. I thought, since the main characters either are or view themselves as Matryoshka, or 'Russian Nesting Dolls', I thought it'd be a good idea to have them sing in Russian...''  
''...You pass,'' the Master nodded. ''Congratulations!''  
''Thank you so much!'' To-chi was overjoyed she even hugged Neru.  
[Can we post this on YouTube?] Neru texted.  
''Of course you can. It'll help increase your popularity and you might even get your own voice bank, Neru,'' the Master smiled.  
[OKAY I KNOW I DON'T HAVE MY OWN VOICE BANK U DONT HAVE TO RUB IT IN GEEZ IM PISSED OFF] Neru glared.

* * *

**I know the lyrics To-chi and Neru sing in this chapter are wrong, because I don't have the actual Russian lyrics, so I had to use Google Translate! I'm really sorry! / **

**Please nobody be offended by this dumb author!**


	13. Death Should Not Have Taken Thee!

**Um... Ya know what I said about singing in Japanese? I take that back. For now. Since you can understand it better in English. Kay.  
Ye Old Disclaimer: I own nothing at all. Except To-chi.  
**

* * *

The living room was in tatters.  
''WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?'' Miku demanded.  
Meiko and Oliver sat at the remains of a table, Meiko sipping sake and Oliver sipping tea.  
''There was nothing we could do,'' Oliver bowed deeply.  
''It'z IAaaaaa and Tochiiiiiii,'' Meiko slurred her words before collapsing on the floor.

Earlier,..

''What are you doing, IA-san?'' To-chi peered at the screen.  
''Playing an RPG,'' IA said distractedly. ''OH MAN! They're all dead!''  
''Can I join in?''  
''Sure, if you want. You'll never win, though.''  
''Grr...''  
''Ahahahaha! I challenge you!''

_IA:  
Alas... death should not have taken thee!_

_3 2 1 Oh!_

_To-chi:  
Majesty!_

_IA:  
What?_

_To-chi:  
Help!_

_IA:  
With what?_

_To-chi:  
The... the princess has been kidnapped!_

_IA:  
What of the hero?_

_To-chi:  
There isn't one._

_IA:  
If it's come to that, you be the hero!_

_There goes the setting!_

_Take the contents of those treasure chests and this paltry sum, set out, find a party, defeat the monsters..._

_To-chi:  
Not taking this seriously, are you?  
_

_IA:  
Oh, and if you're in trouble, talk to the townspeople, OK? Defeat all them bosses good! Knock 'em down!_

_To-chi:  
For real?!_

_IA:  
Be proud, be proud, be proud, of course!  
Because you truly are the 'greatest'!  
_

_To-chi:  
I'll act on behalf of the people! But geez, you're really on a high perch..._

The battle continued.

_IA:  
+XP, +XP, +XP, pile it up!  
And find stronger party members!_

_To-chi:  
So you say, but I'm just a soldier... My paid vacations-  
_

_IA:  
Deleted~! Deleted~!_

_Verily, I wait with bated breath for the day you defeat the last boss! (And that will be in a very long time!)_

To-chi scowled at IA's little side comment as the living room began to deteriorate.

_IA:  
To restore peace to the world  
To protect the peace of the land,  
I direct from all the way in back  
I shall tell thee thy experience points!_

_To-chi:  
Fighting for you, for the world,  
Please recognise our patriotism!  
We're on the brink of destruction, party fallen,  
I knew my levels just weren't high enough yet..._

She stared at the screen, despondent. She had fallen.

_IA:  
Game over, your party has been annihilated.  
Oh god, why? Amen._

''Told you I would win.'' IA smirked.  
''It wasn't fair. You've had tons of experience,'' To-chi complained.  
''Keep talking fools,'' Meiko said, sneaking away with the waffles.

* * *

**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :D**


	14. Rolling Girl (Part II)

**Thanks to Zoozbuh for the translation. From here on, the story might get a little more serious. I'm sorry! You might hate me for the ending...  
**

* * *

''Haaah!? They want me to sing on my own?!''  
''YOU HAVE EARS DONCHA?!'' Miku yelled at To-chi once again.  
''But... On my own... it's just...'' To-chi looked agitated.  
''Look at this kohai,'' Miku pulled the computer onto her lap and showed her the website.  
''A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A fanbase?!'' To-chi nearly fainted.  
''It's tiny though, you have to admit,'' her senpai shrugged. To-chi took no notice and stared lovingly at the fanbase.  
''Em... hello? Earth to kohai?'' Miku waved her hand in front of To-chi's face. When that didn't work, she slapped her with a leek.  
''SING ALREADY!''  
''Ummm... What do I sing?''  
''I thought you might ask that, so I put a number of songs in a hat! Draw one!''  
To-chi closed her eyes and picked one up.

_Rolling Girl_

''Ooh! It's one of mine!'' Miku squealed. ''Akiakane can use CG to make you look like a manga character, so all you have to do is sing, okay? Go!'' She positioned the camera.

_The rolling girl is always far away.  
In her dream world she longs to stay.  
So much noise buzzing round inside her head  
Will the worries ever end?  
Will the worries ever end?_

This song reminded To-chi of something. She couldn't quite remember what, but it made her feel some what sentimental.

_''No Problem'' is so easily said.  
But now is there any meaning left?  
She fails once more, fails once more__After searching for the odd one out in the crowd  
She starts spinning again  
_

_One more time, one more time,  
''Please let me roll on today too''  
That's what she said, what she said  
Making sure the words are sincere._

_''Are you okay?''  
''I'm just in a daze.''  
Trying to escape but I just don't see the point.  
Maybe I should just stop  
Breathing_

She almost choked as she sang that line. _Why? What's going on?_

''To-chi! Are you okay?'' Miku mouthed.  
She nodded.

_The rolling girl feels she has reached the end  
The colours blend and can't be felt  
All these voices fighting to be heard,  
All merging into one, all merging into one._

_''No problem'' is so easily said.  
But didn't those words lose their meaning long ago?  
And how will I stay on the right path?  
Even the hill's tempting me to stray from what's right,  
Make mistakes I'll regret  
_

Her eyes widened.  
''To-chi! Stop!'' Miku rushed onto the stage and grabbed To-chi. ''You're in no condition to sing!'' 

_One more time, one more time  
Please let me keep on rolling today too  
And so I say, so I say  
Making sure I'm saying it with a smile  
_

''So you want to keep singing, huh?'' Miku smirked. ''Alright. You're so darn stubborn, you know that?''

_''Are you okay?''  
''Give me some time.''  
''You must be sick of this, let's go''  
And I will now stop myself from  
g_

''Someone! Someone, help! To-chi's passed out!''


	15. Kasane Territory

**Sorry I took so long *cries***

* * *

''Hey! Are you awake?''  
To-chi opened her eyes. There were people surrounding her. She managed to pick out a few faces. Miku... Gumi... Rin... Neru... Oliver...

''Hi everyone,'' she said sleepily.  
''BAKA, BAKA, BAKA! You had us worried sick!'' Miku slapped her with the leek three times over.  
''Sorry...'' To-chi murmured. ''I'll go back to sleep...''  
''OH NO YOU WON'T!'' Rin yelled, prising her from the bed.  
''Is she gonna be okay?'' asked Gumi.  
''Yeah. She just pushed herself too hard... WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT PUSHING YOURSELF TOO HARD!'' Miku turned from Gumi to To-chi.  
''Senpai... I'm sorry... the song...''  
''Don't worry about it. We can edit out some bits.'' Miku shrugged.  
Neru, meanwhile, was updating her blog. [she just woke up its ok] (Neru does not know the meaning of the word 'grammar'.)  
''Get some sleep, okay?'' Oliver said, hustling everyone out of the room.

''Peace at last,'' To-chi smiled fondly, and turned over.  
''HELLO~!'' announced Teto.  
''Teto-chan?! What are you doing here?''  
''I've been hiding here for ages and nobody noticed me! I'm good at hiding!'' she boasted. ''Plus I wanted to sing you a little song, but everyone else has been getting in the way!''  
''Okay then, go ahead...''

_Teto:_

_Sensei!_

''Eh? Me?'' To-chi looked around as there was nobody else in the room.

A long, long, long way away, Haku Yowane sneezed.

_Teto:_

_Is Kasane, Kasane, Kasane, Kasane, Kasane a Vocaloid too?  
Tetotetotetotetotetotetotetoteto  
Tetotetotetotetotetotetotetoteto_

_Don't say that I suck  
I'm not a pro at singing  
My favourite food is French bread  
I eat it with margarine_

_I am 31 years old_

''WHA-''

_Teto:  
But in Chimera years I'm only 15_

_I will rise above you all and become the best!  
_

_I'm not that old!_

_I'm a singing diva  
And no longer a lie  
My songs are wonderful-_

''TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETOOOOOOOOOOO!'' Miku yelled. ''How dare you hide there and sneak into the limelight?! ATTACK HER MY MINIONS!''

Chaos ensued.


	16. The Riddle Solver Who Cant Solve Riddles

**Sorry for the wait people! This is my last chapter in a while... I'm going abroad! :D I'll be back after, though! It's only a few days! Yeah... kinda another filler, but I wanted to. So...**

* * *

''Everyone, I have terrible news for you all,'' Len said quietly. Everyone gulped.

''Someone has eaten all the bananas.''

A deathly silence filled the room.

''Is that really so bad?'' To-chi whispered to Rin.

''Yes, yes it is,'' Rin looked grave. With that Len began interrogating everyone.

_Len_

_The first mystery is, why were they left alone?__Were they poisoned, maybe?_

_Rin_

_I'm silently listening to you speak, as you continue in front of me._

_Kaito_

_The reason is simple, at that time, the culprit was hungry_

_Len_

_So who is the culprit? You know who the culprit is, Miku, because it happened right in front of your eyes._

_So who is the culprit? Even if you don't answer, I know and your crime will end._

_Miku_

_IT WAS HATSUNE MIKU!_

''Hah! I knew it. And now, you will die,'' Len grabbed a banana from thin air (wait, didn't he say someone had eaten them all?) and advanced. Miku pulled out a leek and the most amazing sword(?)fight in history commenced.

''You know, Miku-senpai, you're pretty cool when you're not drunk...'' To-chi commented.

''WHAT WAS THAT YOU LITTLE BRAT?!'' Miku abandoned the duel with Len to strangle To-chi.

''They do care for each other... right?'' Gumi sweatdropped.

''You think?'' Rin sighed.


End file.
